Mastering and Confronting Your Dark Side (The Shadow) #psychology #motivation #power

Confront Your Dark Side – The Law Of Repression

People tend to hide their dark side, the one that has all their insecurities and negative impulses. The author refers to this as the Shadow and he advises us to recognize it before it becomes toxic. You also have a dark side, so be aware of it and channel it into something creative or productive.

Most of the people around us are pleasant and agreeable, but they all have a dark side. This is what Carl Jung called the Shadow, a group of bad qualities they repress. The Shadow operates unconsciously, but when it reveals itself, the person under its influence is unrecognizable. The Shadow appears in moments of stress or as people get older. Hiding the dark side requires energy, but it reveals itself in the form of signs.

Contradictory behavior: This is when people present themselves in a specific way, but their actions point in a different direction.
Emotional outbursts: This is when someone loses control and expresses negative emotions. When this happens, believe everything they say during the sudden release of feelings because that’s how they really feel.
Vehement denial: Sometimes, constant denial reveals the true desires of someone’s Shadow. Their true feelings are so uncomfortable and unpleasant that the only way to express them is by saying the opposite.
“Accidental” behavior: This is blaming your behavior on some uncontrollable circumstance.
Overidealization: This is seeing the extreme version of something to justify how you feel about something. You can overidealize a cause, person, or object.
Project: This is the most common sign that your Shadow is at work. Instead of assuming our desires, we accuse others of having them.
When you come across someone who exaggerates certain traits (niceness, confidence, affability, toughness, masculinity, intellect), that’s a way to hide the opposite trait. These are seven of the most common traits:

The Tough Guy: As a way to hide their softness and vulnerability, tough guys project an intimidating masculinity. Don’t be intimidated and don’t trigger their insecurities despite of what they tell you.
The Saint: As a way to disguise their need for power or sex, these people appear to be about goodness and purity. Real saints don’t need to publish their good intentions in exchange for something. Whatever you do, don’t become a follower.
The Passive Aggressive Charmer: They seem nice, but they do this as a way to become your friends. Once this happens, they’ll betray you. While nice at first, they can become aggressive or envious. Maintain your distance and identify passive-aggressive comments.
The Fanatic: They are committed to a cause, but they don’t deliver. Don’t fall for these people and ignore their drama.
The Rigid Rationalist: We are all irrational by nature, but not rigid rationalists. They try to impose their ideas and their mood changes often.
The Snob: They want to be different than everyone else as a way to show superiority. They often show this through their appearance. We’re all mediocre at something, but snobs are insecure about it. Instead of admitting their mediocrity, they use their appearance to distract. Also, they surround themselves with special knowledge. Those who are original, don’t need to show it all the time.
The Extreme Entrepreneur: These types have high standards, but they’re unable to listen to others and delegate. This is a recipe for disaster and they often go from having full control to completely relying on others.
Some people you come across have a lot of genuine confidence. You can tell this because they can laugh at themselves, admit their flaws and mistakes, have a playful nature, and they’re spontaneous. These are all signs of authenticity and we’re all drawn to them. In a way, we’re all attracted to our childish nature, the one we lost when we became adults. Children are wild, spontaneous, intense, open-minded, and energetic. To reconnect with that side of ours, we should follow the following steps:

See the Shadow: Notice the Shadow when you react emotionally. Instead, remember when you were curious and excited. That’s your authentic self.
Embrace the Shadow: Looking directly at your dark side will make you uncomfortable. Do it anyway and accept your Shadow.
Explore the Shadow: There’s creative energy in your Shadow too. Explore that side of your Shadow too. Having unstructured time will give you the chance to investigate that creative side.

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